Once again pain has me thinking about my life. The W’s questions who, what, when, and why tends to pop in my head often. I think about how my life would have been this past year if surgery would have been perfect. I can’t help but fantasize how I would’ve been making the money I was used to. I Could’ve been traveling far more than I do now. I wouldn’t have anxiety or PTSD. The most important thing I would be pain-free.
If only it happened that way. Who knew a year can make a difference to a person mentally and physically. The issues I had to endure were very extreme, I always wonder when will it end. What else will I have to give up in life to fulfill this debt to pain? Why did this happen to me? How long will I have to suffer until they figure out something? Finally, I start to think about how I should have gone a different route with treatment.
I have seen people all around me suffering from some form of pain whether it’s from cancer, lupus, arthritis, fibromyalgia, nerve pain and/or chronic pain. We all seem to be fighting this pain alone. If you are being told its all in your head or the doctors are pumping you with all kind of medicines then you are suffering mentally as well. I was told once upon a time these pains and swelling are all in my head. I starting to think maybe I was going crazy. My husband had to assure me it was not in my head. Finally, I saw someone who diagnosed me with fibromyalgia. The hell fibromyalgia put me through for 10+ plus years. I tried to work as much as I could through the pain for all those years. Pain hasn’t left my life it just has gotten worst. So many thoughts came in my head at times I did have to confide in other people just to feel sane.
When people are suffering from pain it consumes their world.