Things I thought about in 2020

It feels like the exciting side of me has left.
Why?
It feels like I am in this world alone at times.
Why?
I feel like I am an outcast no-one likes me, loves me, or cares about me.
Why?
Why is this world so dark?
I have more questions than answers.
2020 has triggered a lot of emotional, physical, and mental challenges for everyone.
For the first time, people had to face these things head-on and alone.
We had to adjust to a new living style for the safety of ourselves and others.
For the first time, we not only responsible for ourselves but others as well.
For the first time, you have to think for yourself.
Some questions only you can answer.
There are services out there that can help you answer your questions. However, will you be willing to accept the advice?
©Painbug 2020

Strength‼‼‼‼‼©

Strength comes from someone invisible.

Strength comes from other people.

Strength comes from deep within yourself.

This incredible strength comes from God.

Strength is when you are at peace with Jehovah, yourself, and others.

Strength comes from acknowledging and accepting the wrong you have done to yourself and others.

Strength comes from forgiving and loving the people who have done you wrong.

Strength comes from loving people who hate you.

Strength is taking someone’s hurtful words and turning them into ashes.

Strength comes from dealing with pain and mental health issues that want to break you, but you don’t allow it.

Strength is fighting head-on with or without assistance.

Strength is knowing regardless of what this world throws at you:

You are loved.

You are kind.

You are smart.

You are beautiful/handsome.

You are wonderful

You are a child of God!!!!

Strength comes from Perseverance.

Always remember your strength comes from God. Anytime you start to feel like you don’t have the strength; All you need to do is just pray and leave it in God’s hands. ©Painbug 2020

Is there any light in this tunnel?

Life has been a roller coaster for the last two and a half years of my life. There is a saying be careful what you ask for you just may get it. I use to wonder what people meant by they had to reconstruct their life after getting sick. I have experienced first hand what its like to have your life changed in a blink of mine eye. Since March of 2016 my life has changed so dramatically I haven’t been able to keep up with it myself. I used to think the light was going to be shining and the end of this dark tunnel was approaching. To my surprise life had another alternative plan for me. I am trying to adjust to the change and accept the new issues that have arisen.

As I look back on my life thus far, it has been a journey for me. Felt I was accomplishing my goals but, now I see this wasn’t the intended plan for me. Of course, I don’t regret anything I have done thus far it is a learning curve for me. Through the years I was able to obtain three college degrees and was able to start working in my desired career paths. We raised four children, made sure they finished school and chosen the path they wanted to pursue. I am very proud of what we had accomplished thus far. We still have two children left to raise. One will be 18 next year and our baby girl have seven more years before she is ready to be a young lady.

During the last two years, I’ve learned my education and experiences has no bearing right now in my life. I had to come up with a new plan of action which would’ve never cross my mind. Every day is faced with new obstacles, challenges, and defeat, but through it, all I can do is fight to the best of my ability. Now I understand you have to create your own light. Faith and hope are the two things I really can rely on to see me through this journey. My light is shining around me in this tunnel I just had to open my mind and eyes to see it.

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