2020 is the year when everything changed for me. The things I was used to doing no longer interest me. I started working on projects that I would’ve never done. I had a lot of alone time to focus on myself. I begin to invest in things that would benefit myself and my family. I learn how to sew. It became a hobby sewing random things. I started out making face masks with filters, satin pillowcases, and hair wraps. There were a lot of damaged materials and designs that went into the trash. However, the more I practice, the more proficient I became. I have watched so many youtube videos I could have made one myself.
I started challenging myself with complicated projects. Whenever I was in a dark place mentally, I would start sewing something. Eventually had to step away and find something else to do with my time.
When 2021 came in, I started to wonder. Why are we spending so much money on things that do not fully represent our personality? My creative mind came into play. I had this idea but hesitated to spend the money on it. After a month of procrastinating, I purchase the required materials needed. I started to make paper flowers and design vases. I do not care for flowers. They draw bugs and do not last more than a few days to a week. They pretty and expensive, but do not last long. So I felt why not create something that is inexpensive and will last long.
I do not celebrate holidays. I had to think of a reason for giving flowers as a gift. We all heard the saying, ” Give me flowers while I am living, not when I am dead.” It became my mission to give my closest friends and family their flowers now. I learned I am not consistent with designs, but it just means each design is unique.
I ended up making my first sale. My friend asked me to make one for her mother. It was my pleasure to create something that was from the heart.
I like to start a small business making arts and crafts.
2020-2021 has brought out some hidden talents. It has taught me a few techniques to deal with my anxiety and stress. This world has become more stressful than most people can handle. I learned if you have faith, you can overcome anything this world throws at you.
Wake up every day with a smile on your face. Thank God and be happy. Let the stress of the world stay in the world.
My Friday was like every other day the last six weeks. What can I do today? I recently started some new projects to occupy my mind during the day. I went back to making crafts. I really enjoy arts and Crafts when I was younger. Life has a way of taking your attention off of things you liked. Since 2020, I have been tuning into a part of me which was buried. I have reunited with one of my old personalities. She has been quietly tuck away in the back. She resurfaced when life slowed me down. I always knew there were different personalities being displayed in different periods of my life.
This person is more lay back, loving, eager, spiritual, and just don’t care about what people think or have to say about her. I guess she shields me from this world and its craziness. She also rely on God and his son the Christ Jesus for spiritual love and hope.
She doesn’t mind being in her own world, because it’s quite and peaceful. She is the peace maker between us. She is very slow to anger and quick to act. She believes actions speak louder than words. She accepts things for what they really are, and learns how to maneuver around them. She also believes we all need to enjoy the little things in life.
You came like a thief in the night. In a blink of an eye, you stole all my possessions, my fight, my strength, and my control. You left me with sorrow, stress, pain, low self-esteem, and self-pity. When the clouds dissipated the next day, I heard a voice it said to me: smile, shout, and rejoice for what has been stolen will be replaced ten times over. You are never alone if you walk with me.
Shake off that old skin and show them how relentless you are. Show them through your actions; your spirit will not be broken, no matter how hard they try.
Before COVID-19, my home care business was finally about to get off the ground. I had worked very hard the last two years trying to get all my certifications in place and started applying for state contracts to hit a wall. COVID-19 hit, and everything came down like dominos pieces. I had to dissolve the business. I wasn’t willing to put people at risk for money. It’s been ten months since this door close on me prematurely.
I am an entrepreneur at heart. My eagerness will not allow me to give up. A window opened and then the door. Now it’s time for me to do what I do best to rise. Being patient is not the easiest thing for me to do, but I am learning to wait.
Do not give up when a door closes. Another one will open up have faith and be patient.
Strength comes from someone invisible.
Strength comes from other people.
Strength comes from deep within yourself.
This incredible strength comes from God.
Strength is when you are at peace with Jehovah, yourself, and others.
Strength comes from acknowledging and accepting the wrong you have done to yourself and others.
Strength comes from forgiving and loving the people who have done you wrong.
Strength comes from loving people who hate you.
Strength is taking someone’s hurtful words and turning them into ashes.
Strength comes from dealing with pain and mental health issues that want to break you, but you don’t allow it.
Strength is fighting head-on with or without assistance.
Strength is knowing regardless of what this world throws at you:
You are loved.
You are kind.
You are smart.
You are beautiful/handsome.
You are wonderful
You are a child of God!!!!
Strength comes from Perseverance.
Always remember your strength comes from God. Anytime you start to feel like you don’t have the strength; All you need to do is just pray and leave it in God’s hands. ©Painbug 2020
To know me is to love me unconditionally.
To love me unconditionally; is to accept all my imperfections, my weird mind, my different personalities, my mood swings, my mental illness, and my physical disabilities without judgment.
To know me is to be close to me and be able to share our opinions openly.
To know me is to be that person who will check me when I am wrong, but won’t hold it against me.
To know me is to understand I am trying to find myself spiritually and won’t participate in certain things, but you are still cool with that.
To know me is to know when we have a problem with each other we can talk it out.
To know me is to know when I tell you I love you; I mean it from the bottom of my heart.
To know me is to know when I am mad I will talk crap and then drop it.
To know me is to know I do not hold grudges, anger, or bitterness in my heart.
To know me is to know I am a person who is very selective of the company I keep.
I can love you with every ounce in my body and kill every ounce of myself.
I can praise you with beautiful words and destroy myself with one word.
I can help shape you into the person you should become at the same time I can crush the person I am.
I can support you in every way and abandon myself.
I can be your fan and my worst critic.
I will not allow anyone to hurt you but will turn around and destroy every inch of myself.
I can love myself more while you quietly fade away.
I can learn to put me first and place you in the background.
I can be the loudest person in the room while shutting you down.
I can excel and thrive while you fall and fail.
I can be myself, and at the same time, I can allow you to show up and show out.
I can be many shades in the dark and in the light. I can fulfill many roles; it just depends on the day and mood.
I can learn to accept the things I can not change and let go of the things I can.
I am comfortable in my skin. I am a work in progress!!!!
The next time someone asks you what is your title or to describe yourself?
Furnish them with an answer that would leave them Baffled.
Well, I am…
A child of God and a Women of faith
A black queen and an Independent woman
Intelligent and Creative thinker
Entrepreneur and a Business owner
A boss and a supervisor
A mother and a wife
A writer and a poet
Would you like me to continue?
Make sure you leave them with an answer to ponder on.
Never sell yourself short.
© Pain Bug 2020