Do you really know me???🧐🧐🧐🤔

To know me is to love me unconditionally.
To love me unconditionally; is to accept all my imperfections, my weird mind, my different personalities, my mood swings, my mental illness, and my physical disabilities without judgment.
To know me is to be close to me and be able to share our opinions openly.
To know me is to be that person who will check me when I am wrong, but won’t hold it against me.
To know me is to understand I am trying to find myself spiritually and won’t participate in certain things, but you are still cool with that.
To know me is to know when we have a problem with each other we can talk it out.
To know me is to know when I tell you I love you; I mean it from the bottom of my heart.
To know me is to know when I am mad I will talk crap and then drop it.
To know me is to know I do not hold grudges, anger, or bitterness in my heart.
To know me is to know I am a person who is very selective of the company I keep.
©Painbug 2020

Me, Myself and I….👩🏽😮🙃‼‼‼

I can love you with every ounce in my body and kill every ounce of myself.

I can praise you with beautiful words and destroy myself with one word.

I can help shape you into the person you should become at the same time I can crush the person I am.

I can support you in every way and abandon myself.

I can be your fan and my worst critic. 

I will not allow anyone to hurt you but will turn around and destroy every inch of myself.

I can love myself more while you quietly fade away.

I can learn to put me first and place you in the background.

I can be the loudest person in the room while shutting you down.

I can excel and thrive while you fall and fail.

I can be myself, and at the same time, I can allow you to show up and show out.

I can be many shades in the dark and in the light. I can fulfill many roles; it just depends on the day and mood.

I can learn to accept the things I can not change and let go of the things I can.

I am comfortable in my skin. I am a work in progress!!!!

©Painbug 2020

Color of my skin

Because of the color of my skin, you say my life doesn’t matter.

Because of the color of my skin, you avoid talking to me face to face.

Because of the color of my skin, you can’t see me.

Because of the color of my skin, you say I am not entitled to anything.

Because of the color of my skin, you treat me like dirt.

Because of the color of my skin, you think I am not intelligent.

Because of the color of my skin, you think I ‘m uneducated.

Because of the color of my skin, you belittle, berate, discriminate, hate, and want to break me.

Because of the color of my skin, you want to kill me.

Because of the color of my skin, you wish my kind would disappear from the earth.

Because of the color of my skin, I will rise.

Because of the color of my skin, I will shout from the highest mountain.

My life does matter, and you will never break me.

I am stronger and wiser.

I am beautiful and free.

I am worthy of life.

I am intelligent and educated.

I will no longer be chained and silence.

Because of the color of my skin, you seem to have forgotten

We all come from dirt.

We all bleed the same color blood.

We all have the same internal body parts.

We all will return to dirt once we die.

You are my brothers and sisters regardless of the color of my skin.

God created all of us.

We all are his children.

We all are the same, just different skin shades.

The next time we cross paths, you will know who I am because of the color of my skin.

P.S my brothers and sisters never believe you are weak, worthless, not love, or wanted.

Our heavenly father created each of us to be Priceless.

© Pain Bug 2020

Take a Knee

I take a knee, not because you want me to.

I take a knee, not because you ask me to.

I take a knee, not because of the solidarity of the protesters.

I take a knee, not in the name of racism.

I take a knee, not because of systemic racism, which has been going on for centuries.

I take a knee, not for the reasons you think.

Photo by Retha Ferguson on Pexels.com

I take a knee because I have some things to say.

I take a knee because it’s the only thing I can do.

I take a knee because it’s the right thing to do.

I take a knee because of what our God has done for me.

I take a knee because Jehovah gave his only begotten son to save our lives.

I take a knee in the name of the Son our Lord Jesus The Christ (Matthew 16:16, Luke 1:31-32).

I take a knee for this reason, no matter how much faith you put into man, he will always fail (Psalm 146:1-5).

I take two knees for the faith, hope, and love I have in God.

©Pain Bug 2020

Hope

I always had high hopes for my life. Regardless, of what other people thought.

I couldn’t CONFORM to what other people wanted me to do.

God made me unique and special with all my imperfections.

I am a strong, open-minded, opinionated, confident, independent woman.

I am comfortable In my skin.

I do have bad moments, days, and months.

It’s just different shades of me.

I love all of me the good, the bad, and the nasty.

We all have different shades of ourselves, whether we acknowledge it or not.

All I can do is be me.

“Shout out to the old me, and everything you showed me. Glad you didn’t listen when the world was trying to slow me. No one could control me. I had to mess it up before I really got to know me(5 seconds of Summer)”.

©Pain Bug 2020

Violence…..

There are so much noise and pain in the world today. The beast call Violence tends to show out at night.

During the night, it causes chaos and destruction while roaming the streets.

It sleeps during the morning and plans during the afternoon.

Violence touches people at different stages while in the mental anger state.

Once it gets a hold of you, it’s hard to snap out of the fog.

Violence is always a half step behind you, just waiting to step in.

You have to guard your mind, eyes, and heart against the evil waiting to swallow you.

Sometimes you need to wear earplugs and shades. 

To stop the noise and sights that are display for your reaction.

Remember, we all were born with common sense.

Think before you speak and act out. Violence is always watching.

©Pain Bug 2020

Title-less…

I was so precious. I was unique and beautiful. I was innocent and pure. I was gullible and vulnerable. I was violated. 

 I was a child.

I was so alone. I was so confused and lost. I was scared. 

 I was robbed of my childhood. 

You berated and belittle me constantly. You beat me and you neglected me. You abandoned me and left me to defend myself. 

Most of all you hated me. 

I looked to you for protection. I looked to you for help. I looked for you to save me.

 I look for you to love me.

 You gave me away like a piece of candy. You threw me to the wolves. You made me disappear. You remove the thought of me from your memory.

 You killed me.

The new me surfaced and the old me was me cremated. The new me started achieving everything the old me was denied. The new me is stronger and tougher. The new me is bold and fierce. The new me is a warrior. The new me doesn’t look or yearn for you anymore. The new me shields my heart from you.

 The new me forgives you for all the wrong you have done to me.

As I write this, I shed tears down my face. I cried not because of the pain, sorrow, shame, or the feeling of being let down by you. 

I shed tears because I am happy

Jehovah has blessed me with love and life 1 John 4:19. He shields me with faith, hope, and love. He feeds my soul Matthew 5:3

©Pain Bug 2020