They say I will never amount to anything in life. They say I am the spawn who walks the earth. They say I will ruin everything I touch. They say one look at me will scar you for life. They say no one will ever like me. They say I am ugly. They say I should just crawl in a corner and dissolve away.
I say to them look closely in the mirror. I am just a reflection looking back at you.
Family, what does this word mean? Everyone has family issues. Everyone has relatives who are close, distant, and fake. We toss the word “Family” around very loosely. Sometimes people who aren’t blood-related become family.
The family visits are more than occasional BBQ get together. Family is more than a once a year visit from them. It is more than coming together when a family member passed away. Family is more than individuals who want to be bothered only when it is convenient for them. Family is more than making a call or text message because someone else has instructed them to do so. Family is more than the judgmental voice in your ear when times are bad. It is much more than being jealous of a person’s status. A family should not make you feel worthless, isolated, or abandon.
Occasionally, we need a family fight!!!!!
Families are dysfunctional, crazy, supportive, loving and caring.
Really! We are really playing this game Who has the bigger balls? The earth has been pleaded with a beast called COVID-19 AKA Coronavirus. She doesn’t care about your social status, age, race, family, how rich, or how poor you are. She is a very feisty beast running havoc on the world swallowing us slowly.
This is the time when everyone should come together to find a solution. Naturally, one-sized doesn’t fit all situations. Sharing information can be beneficial for everyone during the brainstorming period. If all the different countries place their ideas and information together; pretty sure they can come up with some conscientious decision that works for this beast. People prefer to blame, call out, minimize, lie, and argue with each other. They are so concerned with blaming each other for the devastation the beast has caused. We can care less about the stupidly that is being displayed to the public. We just want this beast to stop killing our loved ones. She has destroyed so many lives in a short period. Rona(Coronavirus) has created a new normal for everyone. We all are scrambling to figure out what the next steps are. This beast has publically proved she is the dictator of this storyline. As soon as the government officials get their heads out of the clouds. Maybe we can start the climb out of this beast’s belly.
Yes, the world’s system of things has been compromised. People have lost jobs, companies, money, family members, and even worst their lives. Every time we turn on the television for guidance, we end up with misleading information. The death toll is steadily rising. The number of people with COVID-19 is still going up. There is some hope people are recovering from the sickness.
Self-pity is a mental struggle. It can be overwhelming to deal with. It’s a feeling you can’t control when it strikes. The flood gates of feelings rush in like an ocean of water during a hurricane. The aim is to destroy everything in its path. It took a few years for me to realize I was exercising my right to indulge in the self-pity world. One day I realize what was going on in the middle of an episode. Then, I started to ask why I’m punishing myself like this? It was time for a meeting with myself. This conversion was really deep. I started wondering if there was something mentally wrong with me? Started wondering about the physical and mental pain I was dealing with. I am not the person I use to be before this injury. My life has been dismantled before my eyes. I suffer pain and anxiety attacks daily. Now I suffer from other health issues. On the other hand, as I started to analyze my situation. Yes, we are broken physically and mentally. Yes, the caliber of my life has changed. Yes, we are miserable at times. Yes, this pain and other health problems are a real pain in the rear to deal with. I asked myself, do I allow this to define who I am or do I want to live life the best way I can? Whenever self-pity tries to show its ugly head; I quickly shut it down.
There is a terrible storm coming, one which no one will be able to handle.
This storm will have everyone questioning, panicking, and racing for cover.
This storm is one of a kind there has never been anything like this one before.
You can run, hide, fight, and plead, but this storm will win.
Now is the time
Now is the time to get right, make peace, and value the precious time we have left before this storm comes.
Now is the time to detox from these worldly possessions, feelings, and controls.
This terrible storm will wipe out everything.
This storm will hit like a hurricane in different stages.
In the calm of the eye, we will let our guard down believing the storm it is over.
Within a blink of the eye, all hell will break loose upon this world.
This terrible storm will be the end of us.
We are naturally consumed with what people think about us. We tend to lose ourselves in this trend. For some reason, it is highly important to have favorable views from other people. We have made it possible for other people views to dictate which path our life will go.
We are all born with unique special purposes and gifts. A lot of the stress we are facing is worrying about other people’s thoughts. What did they think? How do they feel about us? Do they approve of our decisions?
It’s sad to say for years I would worry about other people’s feeling and well being.
Now I make it my goal not to care what people think about me.
How you feel is your problem not mines.
What you think is not my concern.
Why should I worry myself about how you feel about me? When clearly it is none of my business👀👀👀👀💨💨💨💨
As an emotional roller coaster my days are filled with mixed emotions. I can get out the bed feeling good and happy ,but the moment I come into contact with other people its like a different personality comes to light. I become silent and don’t care to be bother with anyone. In some cases just as quick as I was eager to leave the house; is as faster as I want to get back home. My home seems to be my security blanket. It is hard to be around people when you are constantly in pain. I feel I’m on the edge and don’t have control over anything. Sometimes I feel lost with no direction or purpose at all.
I visited the idea of talking to a professional that didn’t help much especially since they was always rescheduling my appointments. Eventually I gave up on that idea. Talking to family members really doesn’t help. I always feel they are judging me for one thing or another. I started finding my own ways of coping with my life. The less people I am around the more helpful it is. I now have a limited amount of people I come into contact with in general. I try to stay away from family to much drama I can’t deal with. I became my own cheer-leader and coach to help me through everyday. Music seems to be helping, writing, not to mention my husband and children as well. Traveling helps a lot too except I had to change my views on this idea. Meditation helps during those times when getting out the bed is not a option.
This summer I decided to work on me. I diverted all my attention to focusing on myself still a working process. Sometimes you have to disconnect from the world to prepare yourself for the world.
Why is it life always find a way to throw you for a loop? It seems when you finally have figure out things here comes another problem. Problem after problem hill after hill to constantly climb to reach the top. The emotion and physical roller coaster is draining the very life from you. Will the sorrow and the pain ever end? Can I live a happy ever after life like the characters on TV or is it just the way my life is setup?
Life is full of lessons to be learn. We can only take it one day at a time. Today maybe good day and tomorrow could be horrible, the one thing for certain is everyday is a new day with endless possibilities. All we can do is accept the things we can change and let go of the things we can not change.
I am a walking emotion wreck but its my life. I can control my feelings, and some times I can control my emotions. I can’t control the pain ,but I can fight like hell so it won’t take over my life.
When your heart becomes hard and starts to turn cold it’s time to start the purging process. No regrets, no remorse, or no self-pity just release. Release that energy back to where it came and never turn back.