We are only halfway through the year 2020. In the last five months, it seems like an entire year has passed by. To date, 2020 included events such as fires, floods, earthquakes, mass shootings, massive deaths and, a major pandemic.
In 2020 we have lost more lives then the world trade center attacks, the mass shootings, hurricanes, and tornadoes.
2020 is the year when technology was the only resource available to communicate with the world.
2020 is the year we seen politics true colors.
2020 is the year the President of the United States told us to ingest cleaning solutions to cure the COVID-19 virus(“He said he was being Sarcastic toward the media”).
2020 is the year the United States was represented by COVID-19 case colors on a map.
2020 is the year people started drawing closer, to Jehovah our GOD.
2020 is the year more people will rely on their faith to cope through this pandemic.
2020 is the year when I started using my common sense and started following my heart.
I was so precious. I was unique and beautiful. I was innocent and pure. I was gullible and vulnerable. I was violated.
I was a child.
I was so alone. I was so confused and lost. I was scared.
I was robbed of my childhood.
You berated and belittle me constantly. You beat me and you neglected me. You abandoned me and left me to defend myself.
Most of all you hated me.
I looked to you for protection. I looked to you for help. I looked for you to save me.
I look for you to love me.
You gave me away like a piece of candy. You threw me to the wolves. You made me disappear. You remove the thought of me from your memory.
You killed me.
The new me surfaced and the old me was me cremated. The new me started achieving everything the old me was denied. The new me is stronger and tougher. The new me is bold and fierce. The new me is a warrior. The new me doesn’t look or yearn for you anymore. The new me shields my heart from you.
The new me forgives you for all the wrong you have done to me.
As I write this, I shed tears down my face. I cried not because of the pain, sorrow, shame, or the feeling of being let down by you.
I shed tears because I am happy.
Jehovah has blessed me with love and life 1 John 4:19. He shields me with faith, hope, and love. He feeds my soul Matthew 5:3
They say I will never amount to anything in life. They say I am the spawn who walks the earth. They say I will ruin everything I touch. They say one look at me will scar you for life. They say no one will ever like me. They say I am ugly. They say I should just crawl in a corner and dissolve away.
I say to them look closely in the mirror. I am just a reflection looking back at you.
Family, what does this word mean? Everyone has family issues. Everyone has relatives who are close, distant, and fake. We toss the word “Family” around very loosely. Sometimes people who aren’t blood-related become family.
The family visits are more than occasional BBQ get together. Family is more than a once a year visit from them. It is more than coming together when a family member passed away. Family is more than individuals who want to be bothered only when it is convenient for them. Family is more than making a call or text message because someone else has instructed them to do so. Family is more than the judgmental voice in your ear when times are bad. It is much more than being jealous of a person’s status. A family should not make you feel worthless, isolated, or abandon.
Occasionally, we need a family fight!!!!!
Families are dysfunctional, crazy, supportive, loving and caring.
Really! We are really playing this game Who has the bigger balls? The earth has been pleaded with a beast called COVID-19 AKA Coronavirus. She doesn’t care about your social status, age, race, family, how rich, or how poor you are. She is a very feisty beast running havoc on the world swallowing us slowly.
This is the time when everyone should come together to find a solution. Naturally, one-sized doesn’t fit all situations. Sharing information can be beneficial for everyone during the brainstorming period. If all the different countries place their ideas and information together; pretty sure they can come up with some conscientious decision that works for this beast. People prefer to blame, call out, minimize, lie, and argue with each other. They are so concerned with blaming each other for the devastation the beast has caused. We can care less about the stupidly that is being displayed to the public. We just want this beast to stop killing our loved ones. She has destroyed so many lives in a short period. Rona(Coronavirus) has created a new normal for everyone. We all are scrambling to figure out what the next steps are. This beast has publically proved she is the dictator of this storyline. As soon as the government officials get their heads out of the clouds. Maybe we can start the climb out of this beast’s belly.
Yes, the world’s system of things has been compromised. People have lost jobs, companies, money, family members, and even worst their lives. Every time we turn on the television for guidance, we end up with misleading information. The death toll is steadily rising. The number of people with COVID-19 is still going up. There is some hope people are recovering from the sickness.
Self-pity is a mental struggle. It can be overwhelming to deal with. It’s a feeling you can’t control when it strikes. The flood gates of feelings rush in like an ocean of water during a hurricane. The aim is to destroy everything in its path. It took a few years for me to realize I was exercising my right to indulge in the self-pity world. One day I realize what was going on in the middle of an episode. Then, I started to ask why I’m punishing myself like this? It was time for a meeting with myself. This conversion was really deep. I started wondering if there was something mentally wrong with me? Started wondering about the physical and mental pain I was dealing with. I am not the person I use to be before this injury. My life has been dismantled before my eyes. I suffer pain and anxiety attacks daily. Now I suffer from other health issues. On the other hand, as I started to analyze my situation. Yes, we are broken physically and mentally. Yes, the caliber of my life has changed. Yes, we are miserable at times. Yes, this pain and other health problems are a real pain in the rear to deal with. I asked myself, do I allow this to define who I am or do I want to live life the best way I can? Whenever self-pity tries to show its ugly head; I quickly shut it down.