Emotional feeling of “Self-Pity”

Self-pity is a mental struggle. It can be overwhelming to deal with. It’s a feeling you can’t control when it strikes. The flood gates of feelings rush in like an ocean of water during a hurricane. The aim is to destroy everything in its path.
It took a few years for me to realize I was exercising my right to indulge in the self-pity world. One day I realize what was going on in the middle of an episode. Then, I started to ask why I’m punishing myself like this? It was time for a meeting with myself. This conversion was really deep. I started wondering if there was something mentally wrong with me?
Started wondering about the physical and mental pain I was dealing with. I am not the person I use to be before this injury. My life has been dismantled before my eyes. I suffer pain and anxiety attacks daily. Now I suffer from other health issues.
On the other hand, as I started to analyze my situation. Yes, we are broken physically and mentally. Yes, the caliber of my life has changed. Yes, we are miserable at times. Yes, this pain and other health problems are a real pain in the rear to deal with. I asked myself, do I allow this to define who I am or do I want to live life the best way I can?
Whenever self-pity tries to show its ugly head; I quickly shut it down.

Don’t it take over your world

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Warning a storm is on the way

There is a terrible storm coming, one which no one will be able to handle. This storm will have everyone questioning, panicking, and racing for cover. This storm is one of a kind there has never been anything like this one before. You can run, hide, fight, and plead, but this storm will win. Now is the time Now is the time to get right, make peace, and value the precious time we have left before this storm comes. Now is the time to detox from these worldly possessions, feelings, and controls. This terrible storm will wipe out everything. This storm will hit like a hurricane in different stages. In the calm of the eye, we will let our guard down believing the storm it is over. Within a blink of the eye, all hell will break loose upon this world. This terrible storm will be the end of us.

It’s none of my business what you think of meπŸ€”πŸ€”πŸ€”πŸ€«πŸ€«

We are naturally consumed with what people think about us. We tend to lose ourselves in this tend. For some reason, it is highly important to have favorable views from other people. We have made it possible for other people views to dictate which path our life will go.

We are all born with unique special purposes and gifts. A lot of the stress we are facing is worrying about other people’s thoughts. What did they think? How do they feel about us? Do they approve of our decisions?

It’s sad to say for years I would worry about other people’s feeling and well being.

Now I make it my goal not to care what people think about me.

How you feel is your problem not mines.

What you think is not my concern.

Why should I worry myself about how you feel about me? When clearly it is none of my businessπŸ‘€πŸ‘€πŸ‘€πŸ‘€πŸ’¨πŸ’¨πŸ’¨πŸ’¨

My up and down days

By Painbug

As an emotional roller coaster my days are filled with mixed emotions. I can get out the bed feeling good and happy ,but the moment I come into contact with other people its like a different personality comes to light. I become silent and don’t care to be bother with anyone. In some cases just as quick as I was eager to leave the house; is as faster as I want to get back home. My home seems to be my security blanket. It is hard to be around people when you are constantly in pain. I feel I’m on the edge and don’t have control over anything. Sometimes I feel lost with no direction or purpose at all.

I visited the idea of talking to a professional that didn’t help much especially since they was always rescheduling my appointments. Eventually I gave up on that idea. Talking to family members really doesn’t help. I always feel they are judging me for one thing or another. I started finding my own ways of coping with my life. The less people I am around the more helpful it is. I now have a limited amount of people I come into contact with in general. I try to stay away from family to much drama I can’t deal with. I became my own cheer-leader and coach to help me through everyday. Music seems to be helping, writing, not to mention my husband and children as well. Traveling helps a lot too except I had to change my views on this idea. Meditation helps during those times when getting out the bed is not a option.

This summer I decided to work on me. I diverted all my attention to focusing on myself still a working process. Sometimes you have to disconnect from the world to prepare yourself for the world.

Why Life?πŸ€·β€β™‚οΈπŸ€·β€β™‚οΈπŸ€·β€β™‚οΈπŸ€·β€β™‚οΈ

Why is it life always find a way to throw you for a loop? It seems when you finally have figure out things here comes another problem. Problem after problem hill after hill to constantly climb to reach the top. The emotion and physical roller coaster is draining the very life from you. Will the sorrow and the pain ever end? Can I live a happy ever after life like the characters on TV or is it just the way my life is setup?

Life is full of lessons to be learn. We can only take it one day at a time. Today maybe good day and tomorrow could be horrible, the one thing for certain is everyday is a new day with endless possibilities. All we can do is accept the things we can change and let go of the things we can not change.

I am a walking emotion wreck but its my life. I can control my feelings, and some times I can control my emotions. I can’t control the pain ,but I can fight like hell so it won’t take over my life.

My life is a Work In Progress with tape and all

Β© By Painbug Β©2019