My marriage to pain

God has blessed me with the opportunity to enjoy another vacation with my family members. Ever since my surgery life has been a real struggle for me. I came to terms with some of my issues and have fought others. I’ve made up my mind traveling will be my escape go. Every open opportunity receive we will be traveling. Time waits for no man. I been on vacation for a week. It was great to rest my brain, only problem was pain would shut me down often during the vacation days. Regardless of your situation we shouldn’t let life pass us by.

It’s amazing how trees grow. One day the tree is dead with no signs of life in it. The next day the braneches are grown out and the flowers begin to spread the love among each other. It stands proudly and boldly as if there isn’t a care in the world. If human life was that simple there would be peace and love all over this world.

I let pain control my life for the last two and a half years. I am so done with nerve damage, Fibromyalgia, and chronic pain. Not to mention the other mental health problems you begin to develop over time. I am done with my red seat walker, my blue speed cane, and finally my trusty AFO leg piece. It has been a long journey for us throughout the years. You all have been there for me when I needed you all the most. I am sorry. I have never been the type of person to overstay my welcome. I don’t want to continue this relationship any longer. I believe it is time for us to go our separate ways. I don’t want to sound like I am picking between the three of you, but I still need one of you to help me a little while longer, please. I will discuss this matter with the one I need.

Now I have other matters to deal with. Pain, when are you leaving you, have overstayed your welcome to the point I can’t stand you. You have caused me so much grief in past and yet you have not let up your pressure. You have taken away my freedom, my security, my self-confidence, and my self-esteem. I can’t believe I allow you to belittle me the way you have. You are my weakness. The relationship has been very abusive and mentally draining. You made sure I was aware you were around every single moment of the day and night. You are very jealous of me being happy and productive. To top things off you had invited over friends to help make me miserable.

I have given you too much of my precious time. Now it is time for you to go find another hobby to focus all your time and energy on. Right now, I want you to take your friends and leave me alone. There is no room for negotiations just get your bags and start stepping out the door. Please, no need to look back to see if I am looking, because I already started a departure party on your behalf.

P.S

XOXO🙋‍♀️🙋‍♀️🚫🚫🚫

Today, I had an awkward moment at the image center. Well, I had to do a mammogram due to the breast cancer history in my family. I am a younger growing lady. From the moment I walked into the waiting room, the eyes were on me. For a brief second, I thought there was a sign on my forehead saying “look at the foreign figure”. If I could read minds the things people were thinking would scare me. It’s amazing we all size up people mentally for a few seconds after we spotted them. This place was full of much older women and their companions waiting for their names to be called. When I look back at them the eyes turn away as if I didn’t just catch them staring at me.

You would’ve thought we passed the staring, but it seems there was another round waiting for me in the back. The nurse calls my last name and did a double look. Ok, this is awkward again, now she has joined the game. Now I’m in the pretty pink half robe and a different set of eyes were upon me. I asked is this ever going to stop? Yes, I look like a really young teenager, but little do they know my body is older than me.

via Daily Prompt: Guilty

We are guilty of a lot of things some we know of and there are others we are not aware of. Sometimes we have to check ourselves and try to correct what’s wrong. The sad truth about being guilty is we prefer not to be seen as being wrong. I know I have my flaws and guilty pleasures but wrong is wrong. Here in this country the Land of the free, you are guilty until proven innocent I mean innocent until proven guilty. We have to prove our innocent all the time. Being guilty can the hardest feeling for you to get over. But being innocent and accused of being guilty can be heartbreaking.

Before we judge someone make sure you are absolutely right of that person guilt before you label them Just saying……..