Category: Isolation

My Friday….

My Friday was like every other day the last six weeks. What can I do today? I recently started some new projects to occupy my mind during the day. I went back to making crafts. I really enjoy arts and Crafts when I was younger. Life has a way of taking your attention off of things you liked. Since 2020, I have been tuning into a part of me which was buried. I have reunited with one of my old personalities. She has been quietly tuck away in the back. She resurfaced when life slowed me down. I always knew there were different personalities being displayed in different periods of my life.

This person is more lay back, loving, eager, spiritual, and just don’t care about what people think or have to say about her. I guess she shields me from this world and its craziness. She also rely on God and his son the Christ Jesus for spiritual love and hope.

She doesn’t mind being in her own world, because it’s quite and peaceful. She is the peace maker between us. She is very slow to anger and quick to act. She believes actions speak louder than words. She accepts things for what they really are, and learns how to maneuver around them. She also believes we all need to enjoy the little things in life.

Part 1

©Painbug 2021

Fight song

You came like a thief in the night. In a blink of an eye, you stole all my possessions, my fight, my strength, and my control. You left me with sorrow, stress, pain, low self-esteem, and self-pity. When the clouds dissipated the next day, I heard a voice it said to me: smile, shout, and rejoice for what has been stolen will be replaced ten times over. You are never alone if you walk with me.

Shake off that old skin and show them how relentless you are. Show them through your actions; your spirit will not be broken, no matter how hard they try.

©Painbug 2021

My journey

2020 stop me in my tracks. The things I am used to are no longer available. Like all the other businesses, my business journey was cut short. It was a two-year-long process that ended In a few short days. It was a sad moment, but then the sun came out. I had to pivot my thoughts. The main thing about an entrepreneur’s mind is always thinking. When one door closes, we start working on two more doors.

In 2019, I leaped into something new to me, so I thought. In 2020 I was able to focus more time on this project. By late 2020, I completed the PMP and CAPM courses. I am gearing up to take the PMI’s certification exams for both professions. In 2020, I learned how to sew. Not only did I want to learn how to sew, but I wanted to master sewing. My first project was learning how to sew face masks. Well, my face mask comes with build-in filters, nose wire, and four layers of cloth. The face mask can adjust to different face sizes. Then started making king-size silk pillows case.

The year 2021, has arrived and I have another challenge to face. The surgery left me with one good working arm. My right arm is incapacitated; for at least six weeks. How in the world would I survive this? As usual, my mind is always thinking. I decided to try this idea and make homemade flower vases. However, these vases are not just any flowers. These vases are full of unique colors, arrange paper flowers.

Even though I have limitations my minds still try to work.

The year is just getting started lets see what I will try next.

©Painbug 2021

Pain Part 2

Where is the boundary line in this relationship? I gave you my all, in-return you gave me discouragement, sadness, and loneliness. My nights are long and sleepless. My days are dysfunctional and filled with worry. Some days I feel like a visitor in my own body. I began to daydream about the time when this body will not suffer from pain anymore. In this timeframe, I will be divorce from you. You will no longer have control over my body. My days and nights will be full of joy. In this new timeframe, pain and sickness will be no more. Pain, you may have won this battle in this time frame, but God has promised a better life in his Kingdom. Pain listen to me, very clearly Your time is limited! For now, I will rely on my faith to help me endure these trials. ©Painbug 2021

Year 2021 Part 1

It’s a new year with the same old problems from 2020.
People couldn’t wait for the year 2021 to come around. What changes have we seen thus far?
Covid-19 has improved her game and started producing different variants of the virus. The deaths are over 500,000 in the United States alone. We still have high positive cases and deaths.
We have more political drama going on in this country. It is still unreliable and confusing misinformation share by our government officials.
In the first week of January 2021, the country experienced an event we have never seen before.
People are starting to rebel against the government and its preventive measurements. They feel you are intruding on their rights.
Instead of wearing one mask, they ask us to wear two for better protection.
There are vaccines available, but the demand is higher than the supply available. They have begun to lower the age requirements for the vaccines.
Now we are on the verge of another COVID-19 wave across the country.
Will we ever get over this virus?

©Painbug 2021

Pain… Part 1

I can’t shake this pain inside of me.
It follows me all the time.
This pain has consumed my happiness, my joy, and my life.
This pain forced me into an unwilling, one-sided marriage.
Now I am in a space where it’s just pain and I.
My entire world has been fill with pain.

What can I do to escape this miserable life?

©Painbug 2021

Someday!!!

My someday

Someday we’ll see our loved ones who passed away again.

Someday all sickness, pain, and sorrow will be gone.

Someday war will be no more.

Someday we will smile, laugh, and have happiness again.

Someday we will be surrounded with love, joy, and peacefulness.

Someday we will have a blessed and rich life.

Someday only Jehovah’s will for the earth will be done.

Only God’s kingdom will rule on earth. 

I look forward to someday living in paradise on earth forever.

Matthew 6:9-13

©Painbug 2021

Be a advocate

Sometimes you must advocate for yourself.  You might have to go against your doctor’s advice/medical opinions to find the appropriate solution.

 I spent this past last year being bounced around from specialist to specialist. They either wanted to offer surgery or some medication.

It’s has been a full year! Full circle right back to where I started this journey. A year of unnecessary pain, confusion, and a lot of unanswered questions.

Now here we go again, the same doctors who passed me off have to deal with me. So many questions. Where do we start? What is the next move?

I have learned some medical professionals will tell you anything in hopes that you will believe them. We know our body. It shows you signs there is something wrong. You must do your research. Be persistent. Do not be afraid to get a second opinion or even a third if needed.

©Painbug 2021

A year to remember…

Here we are at the end of 2020. So much has happened in this past year. 2020 will go down in the history books. There has never been a year like this or will never be again. 

2020 presented the first for a lot of things that happen

  • A deadly killed more people than our history events in the past.
  • A political democracy that has gone crazy and has lost its mind.
  • A virus that made the world stand still for almost a year.
  • For the first time in history, a shortage of tissue, paper towel, gloves, and cleaning supplies like Lysol, Clorox, and wipes.
  •   For the first time in history, people were mandated to wear a facemask indoors and in public.
  • Seniors are not allowed to see their loves one art home due to being vulnerable.

The list can go on and on.

2020 has affected everyone. We all wish we can crumble up 2020 like a piece of paper and throw it away. Unfortunately, the lives lost cannot be reversed. I know it is hard, but we will see them again in a peaceful place.

My 2020 has been a never-ending train wreck.

On a lighter note, I have learned how to sew by hand and on the sewing machine. My cooking is so good. I coach myself into learning how to cook on a grill.

2020 is over.

Hello 2021!!!!!

©Painbug 2021