We are only halfway through the year 2020. In the last five months, it seems like an entire year has passed by. To date, 2020 included events such as fires, floods, earthquakes, mass shootings, massive deaths and, a major pandemic.
In 2020 we have lost more lives then the world trade center attacks, the mass shootings, hurricanes, and tornadoes.
2020 is the year when technology was the only resource available to communicate with the world.
2020 is the year we seen politics true colors.
2020 is the year the President of the United States told us to ingest cleaning solutions to cure the COVID-19 virus(“He said he was being Sarcastic toward the media”).
2020 is the year the United States was represented by COVID-19 case colors on a map.
2020 is the year people started drawing closer, to Jehovah our GOD.
2020 is the year more people will rely on their faith to cope through this pandemic.
2020 is the year when I started using my common sense and started following my heart.
I was so precious. I was unique and beautiful. I was innocent and pure. I was gullible and vulnerable. I was violated.
I was a child.
I was so alone. I was so confused and lost. I was scared.
I was robbed of my childhood.
You berated and belittle me constantly. You beat me and you neglected me. You abandoned me and left me to defend myself.
Most of all you hated me.
I looked to you for protection. I looked to you for help. I looked for you to save me.
I look for you to love me.
You gave me away like a piece of candy. You threw me to the wolves. You made me disappear. You remove the thought of me from your memory.
You killed me.
The new me surfaced and the old me was me cremated. The new me started achieving everything the old me was denied. The new me is stronger and tougher. The new me is bold and fierce. The new me is a warrior. The new me doesn’t look or yearn for you anymore. The new me shields my heart from you.
The new me forgives you for all the wrong you have done to me.
As I write this, I shed tears down my face. I cried not because of the pain, sorrow, shame, or the feeling of being let down by you.
I shed tears because I am happy.
Jehovah has blessed me with love and life 1 John 4:19. He shields me with faith, hope, and love. He feeds my soul Matthew 5:3
They say I will never amount to anything in life. They say I am the spawn who walks the earth. They say I will ruin everything I touch. They say one look at me will scar you for life. They say no one will ever like me. They say I am ugly. They say I should just crawl in a corner and dissolve away.
I say to them look closely in the mirror. I am just a reflection looking back at you.
2020Represents plenty of drama, pain, sorrow, anger, misery, grief, and joy.
2020 The year the earth stood still.
2020 Has affected everyone mentally and physically.
2020 Will go down in history as the year we wished never happened.
2020 Is the year we will talk about for decades to come.
The class of 2020 had to endure the pain of being robbed of their spotlight to shine on the stage. Our children had to face the realization of not being able to have physical contact with friends or family outside the home.
We became prisoners in our homes in 2020.
The city that never sleeps (NYC) finally went to sleep. Only stray animals and rats walk the streets. For the first time, the streets are deserted and full for dullness.
The Sunshine State (Florida) beaches have been jilted. The white sand beaches are lonely, and the waves are silent. The sun rises and shine on emptiness.
So much has happened in a short span of time we are still trying to wrap our heads around it.
2020 is the year we found out how truly divided we are.
2020 is the year we faced a pandemic like no other.
A person may think love is a feeling. Love is an emotion that will resonate within people’s hearts. The feeling of being in love will have you doing things never image. As humans, we think we know what love is. We blame love for everything that goes wrong in relationships. We blame love for fighting, bad relationships, or for the crazy things we do in general. We feel once we fall in love it’s hard to let go.
In the present time, we need to love more now than ever. People are losing their family members left and right at an alarmingly rapid rate. We are not allowed to be with them as they take their last breath, nor can we tell them how much we loved them. We are not able to see the people, we can’t touch them, and we can’t show them any love.
We are now relying more on our faith to get us through this rough time.
Through our faith we are starting to learn what the true meaning of love is.
The first love we experienced was from Jehovah 1 John 4:19. In 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous. It does not brag, does not get puffed up, does not behave indecently, does not look for its own interests, does not become provoked. It does not keep account of injury. It does not rejoice over unrighteousness but rejoices with the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes for all things, endures all things. Love never fails.
God has blessed us with life. He created each one of us differently. He has created our beautiful souls after his own heart. He showers us with so much love. It took a pandemic for me to realize this beautiful love Jehovah our GOD has blessed us with.
Self-pity is a mental struggle. It can be overwhelming to deal with. It’s a feeling you can’t control when it strikes. The flood gates of feelings rush in like an ocean of water during a hurricane. The aim is to destroy everything in its path. It took a few years for me to realize I was exercising my right to indulge in the self-pity world. One day I realize what was going on in the middle of an episode. Then, I started to ask why I’m punishing myself like this? It was time for a meeting with myself. This conversion was really deep. I started wondering if there was something mentally wrong with me? Started wondering about the physical and mental pain I was dealing with. I am not the person I use to be before this injury. My life has been dismantled before my eyes. I suffer pain and anxiety attacks daily. Now I suffer from other health issues. On the other hand, as I started to analyze my situation. Yes, we are broken physically and mentally. Yes, the caliber of my life has changed. Yes, we are miserable at times. Yes, this pain and other health problems are a real pain in the rear to deal with. I asked myself, do I allow this to define who I am or do I want to live life the best way I can? Whenever self-pity tries to show its ugly head; I quickly shut it down.