Me, Myself and I….👩🏽😮🙃‼‼‼

I can love you with every ounce in my body and kill every ounce of myself.

I can praise you with beautiful words and destroy myself with one word.

I can help shape you into the person you should become at the same time I can crush the person I am.

I can support you in every way and abandon myself.

I can be your fan and my worst critic. 

I will not allow anyone to hurt you but will turn around and destroy every inch of myself.

I can love myself more while you quietly fade away.

I can learn to put me first and place you in the background.

I can be the loudest person in the room while shutting you down.

I can excel and thrive while you fall and fail.

I can be myself, and at the same time, I can allow you to show up and show out.

I can be many shades in the dark and in the light. I can fulfill many roles; it just depends on the day and mood.

I can learn to accept the things I can not change and let go of the things I can.

I am comfortable in my skin. I am a work in progress!!!!

©Painbug 2020

Faith not Sight

I rely on my faith more these days than ever before. ” Walking by faith, not by sight”(2 Corinthians 5:7). In the present time, we can’t let sight lead us if we allow that to happen it will lead us into a black hole. The things we see are temporary and won’t last forever. I have come to realize things will never be the same or normal. The way we use to live has passed. 

Now we are left with choosing between what is right or politically incorrect. 

Your choices are:

  1. Continue to live your life the way you want with traveling, partying, hanging out with people not wearing a mask, risk getting yourself or someone else sick, or dying.
  2. Change your lifestyle limit traveling, socializing in person, hanging out, or doing things that require close contact with other people to keep yourself and everyone else around you safe.

These two choices have caused many issues with society. By what we can see government, politics, righteous, and unrighteous have influenced the decision an individual makes. Nowadays, They are guiding us in so many different directions. Our government has lost their minds. They are under the impression everyone is blind to the truth. 

It is sad to say we heard these things as a child growing up. Be a leader, not a follower; I can remember this as clear as day. I even instill this same saying onto my children. 

We were given a blessing from God with free will. Each human received the necessary tools needed to make wise decisions.

When you began to walk by faith; You can see the world’s view is different from yours. You can see, smell, and hear all the garage in between the lines. You can’t let what is going on in the world consume your life. You become a slave to sight.

2 Corinthians 4:18

Small Rainbow there is hope

© Painbug 2020

2020 Part 3…..

It is interesting how this world changed in the blink of an eye. 2019 would be the last year things in the world were normal. People didn’t care about issues like racial disparities, police shooting, unexplained deaths, food shortages, and other serious concerns.
Now it is a new year the same issues except there is a twist. People were in virtual home prisons. Some states put in place restrictions that limited people from buying needed essentials for daily living. There were certain days when you were allowed to shop. It is hard to find some items such as Lysol spray, cleaning wipes, gloves, hand sanitizer, tissue,paper towels and disposable face masks. There were shortages of beef, chicken, pork, rice, and flour.
Technology usage became the source of schooling, work duties, and a communication platform. Who knew Zoom would rise for a communication platform for business, and churches.
Every day is a reminder of all the deaths that occurred due to a relentless virus. Some people are more paranoid about being around people and socializing in person because it can pose a risk to our health. Simple things such as traveling, partying, shopping, and even getting your hair is a high risk for contracting the virus.
Mental health disorders are on the extreme all-time high. Isolation has become the new normal. Face masks, gloves, and hand sanitizer are part of our daily wardrobe.
Now we are faced with making tough decisions regarding our children’s education. As a parent, we have to decide if we want to take the risk of sending your child back to school or keep them home. In my state, the numbers are steadily climbing, and the school district can’t provide a plan on how to keep our children safe while at school. Our Governor said “children do not transmit the virus-like adults”. They said it is safe to send children back to school regardless of the risk it poses.
How can we feel comfortable with sending children to school, when there is a controversial discussion going about wearing a mask to protect others. The simple task of wearing a face mask to protect yourself and others seems to be a violation of a person’s right.


COVID-19 has changed the world forever.

2020 is the year the world turned upside down and steadily spiraling downhill.

It’s been a while….

Hey guys and gals. It’s been a while since my last post. I have been busy, mentally, and physically. I had to stay in the house for a couple of months. I started watching videos on how to learn how to sew. I started a few projects, such as making my hair scarfs and face masks. I have made a few masks by hand. I am excited to learn how to use all the different filters for masks. I did start limited travel through the state for work, but it has run its course.


Took a COVID-19 Antibody test those results; were negative. Now I have to take a COVID-19 test this week to make sure I am still in the clear. I live in one of the Epic centers state. The govern refuse to mandatory the face mask rule. A lot of the local counties took action and in force a face mask mandate law. People have figure out a way around the law. They purchase the fake medical clearance for not wearing a mask. I am sorry if you aren’t able to wear a face mask, please wear a face shield to protect others around you. I started utilizing the early morning shopping hours for seniors, people with disabilities, and immunocompromised. Unfortunately for me, I fall in the last two categorize.


We have too many people walking around with COVID-19 spreading the virus. I never thought I would see the day someone who tested positive for COVID-19 say the virus is fake because they are asymptomatic.

New face mask project

I’ve been busy this month with work, school work, and mask making. I wanted to learn how to make face masks. I spent hours watching YouTube videos on how to sew. I decide to buy a sewing machine to make it easy on myself. Well, that last for only two completed masks. I went ahead and starting sewing mask by hand with the exception poking myself numerous I have gotten better at sewing.

Hmmm..

Today the world is nosy, mean, and corrupted.

You use your sight to see all the violence and destruction. 

You use the nose to smell all the foul air circulating in the world today.

You use your heart to feel all the hurt and pain people are suffering.

You use your ears to hear all the berating and belittling of people.

You use hands to touch the blood that has been shed by man.

People think if they can’t touch, smell, taste, hear or see faith it, doesn’t exist.

Now is the time to try a different approach. 

Walk by faith and not sight (2 Corinthians 5:7).

©Pain Bug 2020

Pause, Reflect and Reset

The last six months presented us with an opportunity to stop and reflect on life thus far. Base on my life reflection, I gain gratitude for the trials and tribulations I went through. The lessons I learned help me to become the person I am now. I don’t take life for granted. I appreciate waking up every day regardless of my pain and mental state.
In 2016 I was forced to pause and reset my life. I have been living life to the fullest every day. I started venturing out of my comfort zone. Every couple of months, we would travel across the country. I learned to let go of things I can’t control. I started the process of purging people from my life. I stop listening and caring about what people thought.

Life is too short to be a follower. People need to stop, look, and pay attention to whats going on in their life. Reset and create your path in life.

© Pain bug 2020