New and Improve

2020 is the year when everything changed for me. The things I was used to doing no longer interest me. I started working on projects that I would’ve never done. I had a lot of alone time to focus on myself. I begin to invest in things that would benefit myself and my family. I learn how to sew. It became a hobby sewing random things. I started out making face masks with filters, satin pillowcases, and hair wraps. There were a lot of damaged materials and designs that went into the trash. However, the more I practice, the more proficient I became. I have watched so many youtube videos I could have made one myself.

I started challenging myself with complicated projects. Whenever I was in a dark place mentally, I would start sewing something. Eventually had to step away and find something else to do with my time.
When 2021 came in, I started to wonder. Why are we spending so much money on things that do not fully represent our personality? My creative mind came into play. I had this idea but hesitated to spend the money on it. After a month of procrastinating, I purchase the required materials needed. I started to make paper flowers and design vases. I do not care for flowers. They draw bugs and do not last more than a few days to a week. They pretty and expensive, but do not last long. So I felt why not create something that is inexpensive and will last long.
I do not celebrate holidays. I had to think of a reason for giving flowers as a gift. We all heard the saying, ” Give me flowers while I am living, not when I am dead.” It became my mission to give my closest friends and family their flowers now. I learned I am not consistent with designs, but it just means each design is unique.
I ended up making my first sale. My friend asked me to make one for her mother. It was my pleasure to create something that was from the heart.


I like to start a small business making arts and crafts.
2020-2021 has brought out some hidden talents. It has taught me a few techniques to deal with my anxiety and stress. This world has become more stressful than most people can handle. I learned if you have faith, you can overcome anything this world throws at you.
Wake up every day with a smile on your face. Thank God and be happy. Let the stress of the world stay in the world.

My Friday….

My Friday was like every other day the last six weeks. What can I do today? I recently started some new projects to occupy my mind during the day. I went back to making crafts. I really enjoy arts and Crafts when I was younger. Life has a way of taking your attention off of things you liked. Since 2020, I have been tuning into a part of me which was buried. I have reunited with one of my old personalities. She has been quietly tuck away in the back. She resurfaced when life slowed me down. I always knew there were different personalities being displayed in different periods of my life.

This person is more lay back, loving, eager, spiritual, and just don’t care about what people think or have to say about her. I guess she shields me from this world and its craziness. She also rely on God and his son the Christ Jesus for spiritual love and hope.

She doesn’t mind being in her own world, because it’s quite and peaceful. She is the peace maker between us. She is very slow to anger and quick to act. She believes actions speak louder than words. She accepts things for what they really are, and learns how to maneuver around them. She also believes we all need to enjoy the little things in life.

©Painbug 2021

My journey

2020 stop me in my tracks. The things I am used to are no longer available. Like all the other businesses, my business journey was cut short. It was a two-year-long process that ended In a few short days. It was a sad moment, but then the sun came out. I had to pivot my thoughts. The main thing about an entrepreneur’s mind is always thinking. When one door closes, we start working on two more doors.

In 2019, I leaped into something new to me, so I thought. In 2020 I was able to focus more time on this project. By late 2020, I completed the PMP and CAPM courses. I am gearing up to take the PMI’s certification exams for both professions. In 2020, I learned how to sew. Not only did I want to learn how to sew, but I wanted to master sewing. My first project was learning how to sew face masks. Well, my face mask comes with build-in filters, nose wire, and four layers of cloth. The face mask can adjust to different face sizes. Then started making king-size silk pillows case.

The year 2021, has arrived and I have another challenge to face. The surgery left me with one good working arm. My right arm is incapacitated; for at least six weeks. How in the world would I survive this? As usual, my mind is always thinking. I decided to try this idea and make homemade flower vases. However, these vases are not just any flowers. These vases are full of unique colors, arrange paper flowers.

Even though I have limitations my minds still try to work.

The year is just getting started lets see what I will try next.

©Painbug 2021

Pain Part 2

Where is the boundary line in this relationship? I gave you my all, in-return you gave me discouragement, sadness, and loneliness. My nights are long and sleepless. My days are dysfunctional and filled with worry. Some days I feel like a visitor in my own body. I began to daydream about the time when this body will not suffer from pain anymore. In this timeframe, I will be divorce from you. You will no longer have control over my body. My days and nights will be full of joy. In this new timeframe, pain and sickness will be no more. Pain, you may have won this battle in this time frame, but God has promised a better life in his Kingdom. Pain listen to me, very clearly Your time is limited! For now, I will rely on my faith to help me endure these trials. ©Painbug 2021

Be a advocate

Sometimes you must advocate for yourself.  You might have to go against your doctor’s advice/medical opinions to find the appropriate solution.

 I spent this past last year being bounced around from specialist to specialist. They either wanted to offer surgery or some medication.

It’s has been a full year! Full circle right back to where I started this journey. A year of unnecessary pain, confusion, and a lot of unanswered questions.

Now here we go again, the same doctors who passed me off have to deal with me. So many questions. Where do we start? What is the next move?

I have learned some medical professionals will tell you anything in hopes that you will believe them. We know our body. It shows you signs there is something wrong. You must do your research. Be persistent. Do not be afraid to get a second opinion or even a third if needed.

©Painbug 2021

A year to remember…

Here we are at the end of 2020. So much has happened in this past year. 2020 will go down in the history books. There has never been a year like this or will never be again. 

2020 presented the first for a lot of things that happen

  • A deadly killed more people than our history events in the past.
  • A political democracy that has gone crazy and has lost its mind.
  • A virus that made the world stand still for almost a year.
  • For the first time in history, a shortage of tissue, paper towel, gloves, and cleaning supplies like Lysol, Clorox, and wipes.
  •   For the first time in history, people were mandated to wear a facemask indoors and in public.
  • Seniors are not allowed to see their loves one art home due to being vulnerable.

The list can go on and on.

2020 has affected everyone. We all wish we can crumble up 2020 like a piece of paper and throw it away. Unfortunately, the lives lost cannot be reversed. I know it is hard, but we will see them again in a peaceful place.

My 2020 has been a never-ending train wreck.

On a lighter note, I have learned how to sew by hand and on the sewing machine. My cooking is so good. I coach myself into learning how to cook on a grill.

2020 is over.

Hello 2021!!!!!

©Painbug 2021

Selfless/Careless

Well, here we are two weeks, left in this year. As of today, the United States lost 309,859 lives to a hidden killer. This killer is relentless, blind, and deaf.

 Coronavirus has no filter or preference.

She shows up like a thief in the night. She leaves a trail of lives behind.

She tackles you like a defensive football player.

She is unpredictable.

They say one way to protect yourself from her is wearing a mask, social distancing, and hand washing.

I ask how can we protect ourselves from others when people refuse to acknowledge COVID-19 exist?

I wear two masks, one to protect you from me and another to protect me from you.

I stand 8 feet back to protect the space between us.

I wear gloves and use hand sanitizer to kill the germs before it attacks you.

I stay away from people to keep my germs from harming anyone else.

You refuse to wear a mask.

You do not respect the social distance rule.

You do not hesitate to spread your germs around.

I think about you, but you could care less about me.

Why can’t we meet halfway to protect each other?

©Painbug 2020

Things I thought about in 2020

It feels like the exciting side of me has left.
Why?
It feels like I am in this world alone at times.
Why?
I feel like I am an outcast no-one likes me, loves me, or cares about me.
Why?
Why is this world so dark?
I have more questions than answers.
2020 has triggered a lot of emotional, physical, and mental challenges for everyone.
For the first time, people had to face these things head-on and alone.
We had to adjust to a new living style for the safety of ourselves and others.
For the first time, we not only responsible for ourselves but others as well.
For the first time, you have to think for yourself.
Some questions only you can answer.
There are services out there that can help you answer your questions. However, will you be willing to accept the advice?
©Painbug 2020