Living with pain, Life Journey, Personal development
Author: Pain Bug
I am 30+ year old married with 6 children. They are all grown except one and she reminds us every day she is the baby. We love to travel. I am a spontaneous spur of the moment person.
I created this blog as an outlet to express my emotions. We all need an outlet to help us cope with chronic pain and mental health.
I always had high hopes for my life. Regardless, of what other people thought.
I couldn’t CONFORM to what other people wanted me to do.
God made me unique and special with all my imperfections.
I am a strong, open-minded, opinionated, confident, independent woman.
I am comfortable In my skin.
I do have bad moments, days, and months.
It’s just different shades of me.
I love all of me the good, the bad, and the nasty.
We all have different shades of ourselves, whether we acknowledge it or not.
All I can do is be me.
“Shout out to the old me, and everything you showed me. Glad you didn’t listen when the world was trying to slow me. No one could control me. I had to mess it up before I really got to know me(5 seconds of Summer)”.
People are racially divided. Today I was at Costco, and another person went out of her way to talk to me. She saw me walking in the parking lot, and started talking to me. I am a friendly person, so I didn’t mind talking to her. I just happen to look behind me, and a mother and son were walking up. The lady had the nerve to roll her eyes at me and mumble something her son. All I could do was a laugh to myself. I am an individual who thinks for herself. I am a leader, not a follower. I can care less about what other people around me are doing. If you feel some kind of way that’s tough.
I chose to be humble about the situations. The lack of communication from me doesn’t mean I am blind to the issues. I had to endure it since I was born. I want to continue to be the person Jehovah Created to me to be.
Today, while I was shopping at Costco warehouse. An older woman approached me and said the following “I just wanted you to know that your life matters. God created all of us the same. We all are his children. I thought so should know that” When she finished, I said to her Thank you, and your life matters too. We all are God’s Children.
It took courage for her to stop me and say something like that. I know it came from her heart.
My heart is heavy. There is so much going on in the U.S and around the world. People are rioting, stealing, and destroying property in the name of George Floyd. They are using this man’s death as an excuse to be destructive. I understand protesting; the people need to have their voices heard.
I do not understand the violence. Why are people burning down businesses, looting, or even taunting the police? Why are you destroying and stealing from your community? Where is the logic? We have lost so many lives due to violence.
Racism is a major problem we have dealt with for generations. We can not fight violence with violence. We will never solve anything as long as people are feeding and fueling the violence.
We are still in the middle of a pandemic. Please wear your masks and gloves while protesting. We do not need to add more deaths to the count already.
We experience a magnitude of devastation events around the world recently. Every time you turn on the television there always something going on like wildfires, hurricanes, tornadoes, tsunami, earthquakes, mass shootings, police shootings, and a worldwide pandemic.
Some people are starting to question whether we are living in the last days?
We all endure the pain and suffering. You begin to weep, your chest feels like it’s burning, and your heart feels so heavy. We start to become speechless. It’s hard to be transparent when the issues are transcending our understanding. The more you try to comprehend, the more elusive these situations are.
Will we ever see a world without violence, pain, sickness, destruction, and death? Some people yearned to see the day when we can smile in a peaceful world
Regardless of your religious belief, we all deep down look forward to the day when Jesus will come and end this world’s system of things
We need to start loving one another intensity from the heart
(1 Peter 1:22,John 13:34,35). Now more than ever, we need to learn how to be a peacemaker, even if the other person has done us wrong
We need to learn how not to hate and continuously forgive our brothers
(1 John 4:20, Colossians 3:12-14, Ephesians 4:32, 5:2).
When the world becomes too boisterous, you can always turn to Jehovah our God for peace and tranquility.
We are only halfway through the year 2020. In the last five months, it seems like an entire year has passed by. To date, 2020 included events such as fires, floods, earthquakes, mass shootings, massive deaths and, a major pandemic.
In 2020 we have lost more lives then the world trade center attacks, the mass shootings, hurricanes, and tornadoes.
2020 is the year when technology was the only resource available to communicate with the world.
2020 is the year we seen politics true colors.
2020 is the year the President of the United States told us to ingest cleaning solutions to cure the COVID-19 virus(“He said he was being Sarcastic toward the media”).
2020 is the year the United States was represented by COVID-19 case colors on a map.
2020 is the year people started drawing closer, to Jehovah our GOD.
2020 is the year more people will rely on their faith to cope through this pandemic.
2020 is the year when I started using my common sense and started following my heart.
I was so precious. I was unique and beautiful. I was innocent and pure. I was gullible and vulnerable. I was violated.
I was a child.
I was so alone. I was so confused and lost. I was scared.
I was robbed of my childhood.
You berated and belittle me constantly. You beat me and you neglected me. You abandoned me and left me to defend myself.
Most of all you hated me.
I looked to you for protection. I looked to you for help. I looked for you to save me.
I look for you to love me.
You gave me away like a piece of candy. You threw me to the wolves. You made me disappear. You remove the thought of me from your memory.
You killed me.
The new me surfaced and the old me was me cremated. The new me started achieving everything the old me was denied. The new me is stronger and tougher. The new me is bold and fierce. The new me is a warrior. The new me doesn’t look or yearn for you anymore. The new me shields my heart from you.
The new me forgives you for all the wrong you have done to me.
As I write this, I shed tears down my face. I cried not because of the pain, sorrow, shame, or the feeling of being let down by you.
I shed tears because I am happy.
Jehovah has blessed me with love and life 1 John 4:19. He shields me with faith, hope, and love. He feeds my soul Matthew 5:3