How can you??? Things to think about.

What do you when you have lived most of your life with limited family contact?

When you’re in need of family support and no one is there how do you handle that?

How do you feel when you are in a comfortable position without the help of family?

What do you when you are unable to fight for yourself and family finally decides to show up and now they know what is best for you?

How can they speak for you and they barely know you?

How can you send someone to live in a lonely place by themselves for the rest of their days?

How can you live with yourself knowing you never knew that family member at all?

Please get to know your family members before making a final decision for them.

By Pain Bug


Travelling — yarn and pencil

Car journeys are becoming increasingly more difficult for me. Sometimes I’m fine but more often than not I’m experiencing sensory overload within minutes of starting a journey. So what do I feel? Well I don’t feel nauseous. To be honest I can’t explain how I feel exactly but I know what disturbs me. Flickering via […]

via Travelling — yarn and pencil

My past four days


I did some sightseeing and walking around to get my steps in for my leg. Within five hours I was done for the day. I sat down on the couch and there was nothing left in me. I fell asleep for five hours. Then once again I was up for most of the night. I have muscle relaxers but who wants to keep taking those to go asleep. Next thing you know some other organ will be messed up in my body.


I ended up in the bed all day the pain was out of this world. This pain was so bad my body had shut down.


Today was an interesting day. I had to push myself to get out the bed. Once I did it was on I was mentally ready for the day. I wanted to go to the shooting range. My husband was cool because he felt I was motivated to leave the house.  I was motivated to get up and didn’t want to lay in the bed all day. I had a good time plus we took our neighbor with us to the range. It was her first time ever shooting a gun. She nervous at first, but got the hang it. It was soothing for me my target’s name was pain.

It is only the third day of the week and already it was rough on me.


Well, I had some energy this morning we ran some errands. The pain was there but I was still able to continue my business. We ended up receiving some discouraging news today and there goes Anxiety. I really need to get a grid on things. I want the old me back. She would receive discouraging news it would just bounce off of her.  The most interesting thing was the news wasn’t that important in the first place. The problem with anxiety is it really does not matter at all how important something is to have a breakdown.


I miss… me — Fibro Awareness Project

I miss me. The girl that had a career drive stronger than a desire to have her own family The girl who knew what she wanted and was happy doing it The girl who was climbing the corporate ladder every year that passed The girl who impressed daddy, as lame as it may sound The […]

via I miss… me — Fibro Awareness Project

Constant state of Fatigue! — Survivors Blog Here

Originally posted on Fightmsdaily: Good afternoon Y’all! I have been out of work for two weeks as of today, due to a MS flare up. It has been a difficult journey for me trying to get myself well again. I did the 5 days of steroids the doctor ordered and of course, it was horrible!…

via Constant state of Fatigue! — Survivors Blog Here


Does everybody know the seven deadly sins? They are sometimes called the cardinal sins. And if you don’t like the connotation of the word sin, let’s call them defects of character. Ok, here’s the countdown and they are not listed in order of severity. Each one of them can be deadly if allowed to run […]


People have to much time to think when they are in pain

Once again pain has me thinking about my life. The W’s questions who, what, when, and why tends to pop in my head often. I think about how my life would have been this past year if surgery would have been perfect. I can’t help but fantasize how I would’ve been making the money I was used to. I Could’ve been traveling far more than I do now. I wouldn’t have anxiety or PTSD. The most important thing I would be pain-free.
If only it happened that way.  Who knew a year can make a difference to a person mentally and physically. The issues I had to endure were very extreme, I always wonder when will it end. What else will I have to give up in life to fulfill this debt to pain? Why did this happen to me? How long will I have to suffer until they figure out something? Finally, I start to think about how I should have gone a different route with treatment.

I have seen people all around me suffering from some form of pain whether it’s from cancer, lupus, arthritis, fibromyalgia, nerve pain and/or chronic pain.  We all seem to be fighting this pain alone. If you are being told its all in your head or the doctors are pumping you with all kind of medicines then you are suffering mentally as well. I was told once upon a time these pains and swelling are all in my head. I starting to think maybe I was going crazy. My husband had to assure me it was not in my head. Finally, I saw someone who diagnosed me with fibromyalgia. The hell fibromyalgia put me through for 10+  plus years. I tried to work as much as I could through the pain for all those years. Pain hasn’t left my life it just has gotten worst. So many thoughts came in my head at times I did have to confide in other people just to feel sane.

When people are suffering from pain it consumes their world.


Up Cannabis is the Tragically Hip’s official medical cannabis partner #MedicalDagga — Doctors For Dagga

Up Cannabis is the Tragically Hip’s official medical cannabis partner #MedicalDagga — Doctors For Dagga (@DoctorsForDagga) October 24, 2017 //

via Up Cannabis is the Tragically Hip’s official medical cannabis partner #MedicalDagga — Doctors For Dagga

My Depression and Anxiety is Real

I have dealt with depression my whole life, but now it has become worst. I went through post partum depression with both of my children. After every child it seemed to get worse. My depression turns into insecurities and meltdowns. It also turned into anxiety when approached too fast. I have had intrusive thoughts about my children and my husband. I used to question why was I even still alive because my life was so bad. I didn’t know how to manage anything in my life and it bothered me. I realized I wasn’t even in control of my mind. It took over and I couldn’t even go throughout my day to day without feeling like I had to lay in bed and sleep all day to make the mental pain go away. God is what helped me manage on top of putting great people in my circle. I attend counseling and I am starting to feel less anxiety as time goes on. I am trying to start a business and that makes the anxiety swell up at times, but I intend to make it my reality. God has provided for me mentally, spiritually, physically, financially, and he has changed me from the inside out. I am forever grateful. This is not an overnight healing. It takes time and I am still healing.