This is my first publicized story. I hope this will help other people who are dealing with the same issues. Maybe we can open up a dialogue. Bare with me my writing can be a little discombobulated. I do suffer from dyslexia. Please don’t let that turn you away….
Never forget where you came from. Embrace your past. In other words, own that shit it’s yours.
Our past is the foundation of who we are today. Never be ashamed of who you were. If it wasn’t for your past you wouldn’t have the opportunity to change your present and future.
We all been through the good and bad times, the ups and down times, and the what the hell times. We can honestly say we all made it through.
Pain Bug©2019
There is a terrible storm coming, one which no one will be able to handle.
This storm will have everyone questioning, panicking, and racing for cover.
This storm is one of a kind there has never been anything like this one before.
You can run, hide, fight, and plead, but this storm will win.
Now is the time
Now is the time to get right, make peace, and value the precious time we have left before this storm comes.
Now is the time to detox from these worldly possessions, feelings, and controls.
This terrible storm will wipe out everything.
This storm will hit like a hurricane in different stages.
In the calm of the eye, we will let our guard down believing the storm it is over.
Within a blink of the eye, all hell will break loose upon this world.
This terrible storm will be the end of us.
We are naturally consumed with what people think about us. We tend to lose ourselves in this tend. For some reason, it is highly important to have favorable views from other people. We have made it possible for other people views to dictate which path our life will go.
We are all born with unique special purposes and gifts. A lot of the stress we are facing is worrying about other people’s thoughts. What did they think? How do they feel about us? Do they approve of our decisions?
It’s sad to say for years I would worry about other people’s feeling and well being.
Now I make it my goal not to care what people think about me.
How you feel is your problem not mines.
What you think is not my concern.
Why should I worry myself about how you feel about me? When clearly it is none of my business👀👀👀👀💨💨💨💨
By Painbug
As an emotional roller coaster my days are filled with mixed emotions. I can get out the bed feeling good and happy ,but the moment I come into contact with other people its like a different personality comes to light. I become silent and don’t care to be bother with anyone. In some cases just as quick as I was eager to leave the house; is as faster as I want to get back home. My home seems to be my security blanket. It is hard to be around people when you are constantly in pain. I feel I’m on the edge and don’t have control over anything. Sometimes I feel lost with no direction or purpose at all.
I visited the idea of talking to a professional that didn’t help much especially since they was always rescheduling my appointments. Eventually I gave up on that idea. Talking to family members really doesn’t help. I always feel they are judging me for one thing or another. I started finding my own ways of coping with my life. The less people I am around the more helpful it is. I now have a limited amount of people I come into contact with in general. I try to stay away from family to much drama I can’t deal with. I became my own cheer-leader and coach to help me through everyday. Music seems to be helping, writing, not to mention my husband and children as well. Traveling helps a lot too except I had to change my views on this idea. Meditation helps during those times when getting out the bed is not a option.
This summer I decided to work on me. I diverted all my attention to focusing on myself still a working process. Sometimes you have to disconnect from the world to prepare yourself for the world.
Here it is couple of days later.
We still feel the hurtful pain that leaves a huge hole in everyone heart.
Every voice you hear is asking why?
Why was this evil put upon us?
Why so many people had to die?
Why would a person bring himself to perform an act like this?
Why do we have to feel this pain?
Every face you see wonders how?
How could we as human beings go about our normal life?
How do you explain the sorrowfulness you feel inside?
How could this person feel so shameless?
Who was behind this evil?
Who would want to destroy this place we call home?
Who would want us to feel this was our fault?
Who would want us to feel there is no hope?
Finally the question left in everyone’s mind is What?
What can we do?
What can we do as a country to make this a better place again?
As you can see these are the questions that are being asked.
No one can fully answer these questions yet.
We the people of the United States of America
Know this day will go down in history as the most painful day in America.
“The ungodly are not so: but are like the chaff which the wind driveth away
Therefore, the ungodly shall not stand in the judgment., Nor sinners in the congregation of the righteous”. Amen
( The book of psalms chapter 1, verse 4 and 5).
God Bless America
Unfortunately, here it is 18 years later there has been numerous incidence with loss of life at the hands of evil people. May God have mercy for this planet.
By: Painbug©2019
One day you are on top of the world
The next day you’re beneath the earth
One day you have everything going for you
The next day everything was taking from you
One day you have the biggest smile on your face
The next day that biggest smile is a frown
One day you’re the richest person
The next day you’re the most pitiful person alive
One day your family member is there for you
The next day their not around
One day you’re happily married
The next day you are sadly divorce
One day you have the highest hopes
The next day you have lost all hope
What I have learned is you can only take one day at a time
You can only deal with what life hands you one day at a time
All we can do is Make the Best of it one day at a time
Painbug©2019
Why is it life always find a way to throw you for a loop? It seems when you finally have figure out things here comes another problem. Problem after problem hill after hill to constantly climb to reach the top. The emotion and physical roller coaster is draining the very life from you. Will the sorrow and the pain ever end? Can I live a happy ever after life like the characters on TV or is it just the way my life is setup?
Life is full of lessons to be learn. We can only take it one day at a time. Today maybe good day and tomorrow could be horrible, the one thing for certain is everyday is a new day with endless possibilities. All we can do is except the things we can change and let go of the things we can not change.
I am a walking emotion wreck but its my life. I can control my feelings, and some times I can control my emotions. I can’t control the pain ,but I can fight like hell so it won’t take over my life.
© By Painbug ©2019
